I waken this morning with terrible heartache as I realize that I've lost another puppy. Murphy has been with me the last seven years since he was a scrappy, thin puppy on a transport to Dane rescue. I was simply a leg on this sweet, deaf babies road to salvation. His "breeder" had tried to starve him to death when she discovered he was deaf, something she caused directly due to her unethical breeding practices. She finally agreed to give him to rescue. He was so very thin. We weren't even sure he'd survive. He cried (sort of, being deaf he never really made normal dog noises aside from the inexplicable wooing that he picked up from Misha) the whole leg of the transport.

I left him with the rescuer that morning, and by the time I had driven the hour or so back to my house I knew he was mine. He was supposed to be with me. I called her and told her that when he was ready, I wanted to adopt him. She agreed and I waited long, hard weeks for him to get healthy and weigh enough to neuter. It finally came and I had this giant, floppy puppy, all legs and ears to cherish.

The years were hard for him. His beginnings and breeding left him with a nutrient-absorbtion problem that I battled, sometimes more successfully than others, his whole life. He was rail thin at the best of times, no matter what or how much he ate. Testing never yielded any results and the cycle of weight loss to the point I thought I was going to lose him was ongoing. Somehow he seemed to recover each time, thankfully. I think he cheated death many times over the years with this issue.

He was getting on in years now, especially for a Dane. Happy after we moved to Virigina, decidedly healthier in the warmer climate I still thought I had years left. The loss of Misha in early winter this year was difficult for him. All he'd ever known was another dog's company. She raised him from a puppy. He struggled but settled in, appreciating the increased, one-dog attention and was all snuggles all the time.

He was slowing down, I could see that. The last couple of months we've been fighting what I believe was a misdiagnosis on cancer. The vet told us a lump was benign, but it was growing rapidly and the weight loss was severe. He hadn't eaten in a couple days, unusual for my chowhound but yesterday morning he was ravenous. Ate his food in record time, a burden I bear heavily. Soon after breakfast I watched him, knowing the worst was at hand. He bloated. I ran him to the emergency vet, the longest twenty miles I've ever driven, but it was too late. The worst was confirmed and I lost my sweet baby to the bridge. Thankfully, I was there, holding him and touching him as he left us.

I wake this morning to an empty house for the first time in nine years. Since my first Malamute, Misha, came to me I've had multiple dogs in the house between my own and the many fosters that crossed my path over the years. I don't know what to do with myself. I got up to let him out, to feed him this morning. I expect him to be standing there rubbing his head against my side. It's more empty than I can believe. But I will always remember him and cherish the time we had.

He was absolutely the sweetest dog I've ever known. All love, all the time. A real clown. The perpetual puppy/teenager who never, ever grew into his long legs and big head. He was with me through the best and worst of times, and I am thankful. But for now, as the shock wears off, I miss him terribly. I grieve the loss of my eternal puppy. I miss his sweet sounds, his insistant need for attention and his unquestioning love and trust.

Today, sad does not begin to touch it.

Thursday Thoughts

So after months of being miserable at the old job, thirteen plus hour work days between two jobs, research papers, group presentations and final exams for class and all the other fun stuff life threw at me, I am now apparently coming down with a cold after somehow maintaining my health through the hardest times. Lovely. Nothing like starting a new job and getting sick immediately when you have no sick or vacation days yet. Oh well, life goes on.

So the first week of the new job has been good. The commute is tolerable with traffic moving pretty good on the most problematic stretches (I-95/I-64). I actually appreciate the time in the car to myself in the morning and after work. An hour to veg out, listen to music, and just chill. I know there will be days when I just want to get home fast, but I think it's going to be better than expected. And to not be miserable for eight hours a day at work... totally worth it.

I've had to give up my after work happy hours though, which is kind of weird. I need people to meet me for a drink after 5:30pm, which it seems is when most people I know go home for the night. Perhaps some of the professional 9-5ers here will hook me up. Bound to be awesome places to go out in Richmond. I also think we should institute mandatory attendance for Corona night at Paul's. Come on, dollar Coronas and it's only 7-9pm. Is it really that much of a committment? Hit me up, folks.

Other than that, looking forward to a weekend with no plans. It felt so good last Saturday when I didn't have to work at Target for the first time since November. A morning at home, leisurely drinking coffee and reading the paper... awesome. I missed it a lot.

Class starts next week again and I already have my first assignment due the following week, a short paper and presentation with someone else in the class. We all know how I just love group work... not.

Anyhoo, off to get some things done today. It's almost Friday! A little over a week until my boys are in the Superbowl! Woot!

First day at the new job! They gave me a BlackBerry! I have a cool, big, fancy office! They took me to lunch! I like this place! Woo!

Key-riffic!

Wow! My keys are so much lighter without office keys! Count: two house keys and a car key, electric car lock key, dragonfly keychain, two keychain bottle openers (in case of malfunction), a library card and a Ukrops card. More stuff than keys until next week.

Baby it's cold outside!

I know I can't really complain compared to how it was in the frozen prairie I escaped from, but damn it's cold!

Steeler Skies

Terrible towels in the air...

Superbowl-bound! (hopefully)

Steelers are on the road to Tampa, baby!

A look back at a collegiate life

College campuses are all I've ever known, thanks to growing up with two parents working in the higher education arena and a long history of my own life, happening on many different campuses. I just thought I'd take a step back as I approach the new opportunity I'm about to undertake at the history of my life in higher ed, from the start. This is mostly for my own memory lane strolling, so feel free to read no further.

The University of South Carolina- The Gamecocks. I was here the first year of my life. My dad had wrapped up grad school and was a new professor here. I don't remember it, but it counts.

Old Dominion University- The Monarchs. I spent most of my early life here, age two until I graduated from high school. My mom and dad both worked here, as did a lot of my closest friends' parents. I got my first summer job here (art and music camp counselor). I spent hours on this campus, using the gym facilities, watching basketball games, doing homework in my parent's offices, and generally just causing mayhem around the place.

Virginia Tech- The Hokies. I spent a very short and very troubled one semester here my first year of college. I wasn't ready, but I went and it was ugly.

Heartland Community College- The Hawks. I took some courses here in between things, after moving out to Illinois when I left Tech. Mostly I did this just to shut my parents up about me being a college drop out. I met some really neat people here though.

Illinois State University- The Redbirds. After a couple of false starts (I got pregnant, I almost failed out the first time) I finally got serious and earned my bachelors and masters degrees here. It was a great school and I had a lot of fun and met a lot of cool and really nice people, especially as a grad student. I was in a great department and had awesome professors. The kidlet was raised her first few years here and got some great breaks through the childcare program on campus.

University of Illinois- The Fighting Illini. I worked here for eight years after graduating from ISU. I took my first real campus job here and it was great to work for a Big 10 school. Good benefits, flexible schedules, nice folks for the most part. But alas, I was not destined to be a midwesterner and needed to return to the east coast where I belong.

William and Mary- The Tribe. I've been here coming up on two years. I took a job here in spring 2007 and then started taking classes toward my PhD. Now that I'm leaving for a new job at a new place, I'm a little sorry this was such a disappointment for my employment, but I'm hoping to continue my degree here even after I'm gone. I should know by the next week or two if I got into the department formally so I can continue.

University of Richmond- Go Spiders! What a great opportunity to move up in my career. My first position with some administrative responsibility. I can't wait to get going. This feels right, and really positive and I'm really looking forward to it.

Aside from those first-hand experiences, my family is tied in to a few other schools as well, furthering my college involvement. My dad and sister went to Penn State (Nittany Lions- JoePa, baby!) and dad did his undergrad at University of Wisconsin (The Badgers). My sister and I followed a similar track since she did her undergrad at Virginia Tech, then a year of grad school at ISU and now is doing law school, having started at Penn State and now being at W&M.

Anyways, I've been meaning to document this path for myself since I'm considering a tattoo based on my life being so intricately intertwined with college life. It's been good, bad, rewarding, frustrating and overall has given me opportunities and a mindset I have come to highly value and appreciate.

Friday photoblogging

Some random photo blogging for today. Random thoughts and tidbits for this week.

Absolutely, without a doubt worst frozen pizza ever. Should be good because it's not "diet" but ewwwww. Crappy crust like dried out bread, horrid sauce and way too much grease. File under "icky".
Tomorrow and Sunday are my last two Target work shifts. I have to say that as far as having to work a second job and deal with the public in it, it was very tolerable. Coworkers were cool and nice, customers were for the most part not raging arses and I got a discount on all things Target (rock!). And I earned this crazy little Target dog rent-a-cop thing for getting people to take out redcards. I'd go back if I had to. Nicely done, Tar-zschay.

On January 7th, 2009, it was 62 degrees out when I was on my way from one job to the other. It always seems to be nice on days I have to work, but hey, I'm a happy girl in a place it stays moderate so much of the winter. We had a couple decent thunderstorms this day too. Pretty cool. Snow and ice? Thanks, but no thanks.

This black thong has been in the grass outside my favorite local beering establishment all week. Apparently no one is brave enough to claim it. I think it may be the subject of a research project on the effects of weather on panties. I could be wrong.

That is all.