Lawncare *snicker*

Dear Gainful Employer,

I understand that while it is important to maintain the lovely landscapes on our oh-so-historical campus, I doubt that the small plot of grass directly outside my window is in need of mowing every other day. Might I suggest scissors if you continue to feel it necessary, as they are much quieter and would allow greater blade length control.

Distractedly,

Ms. Maladjusted